Vivid Dreams on Effexor...whoa.

Have you ever had a dream that just bothered you for the rest of the day after you woke up? I have been having those lately. My dreams are so vivid, it is a side effect of my anxiety meds. I don't mind it at all, but when the dreams are so weird, I wake up and think about them all day. I had a crazy dream last night that I keep thinking about, I just had to write about it because it is really that crazy.

I was dreaming that I was shopping with my friend and her mom and my mom called me on my cell phone. She told me that another country was releasing another missel that was going to hit us. She said it was going to be stronger then the one that hit us before. Well, with that I remembered in my dream about one that hit before and it turned our sky orange for a few days. (it was like I had that dream before...and I think I did...and then remembered it in my dream, if that makes any sense at all) I told my mom "omg this is going to kill us, I know it, we are all going to die" and I was trying to get home to Andrew and Xavier before it hit. CNN was saying that this country was going to launch it towards us at 9pm that night.

It was just so weird because these dreams that I have been having are like continuations of other dreams, and I do not remember that I had the dream until I have the other one then I remember in my sleep...does that make sense? Does anyone else do this? It is starting to kinda freak me out that I am having these kind of dreams, and they are so vivid I can remember the littlest things. Sometimes I have to really think if I dreamed something or if it really happened. I know it is this medicine (effexor to be exact) so if anyone else is on this and having this happen to them feel free to email me or leave me messages. I do not mind the dreams, but waking up thinking that the world is going to end is kinda scary! haha.

Leave me some weird dreams you have been having lately.

Seriously!

Do I seriously not make myself clear enough to my husband...seriously! He keeps his laptop sitting on the coffee table, which is fine...IF OUR CHILD DIDN'T EAT HIS BREAKFAST AND LUNCH THERE EVERYDAY! Its just easier to feed him there, because then I can watch him, and he picks, so he wants to play and eat, and that is fine for me...also who am I kidding, it's more convenient for me. A few months ago, Xavier spilled milk all over the table..and of course the laptop. I told him what happened and told him that I am not changing what I am doing, he needs to change where he puts his laptop. Do you think he stopped...of course not. Well, today apple juice is spilled all over the coffee table and once again all over the laptop. Do you think I am going to move this laptop for him....hell no. Its not my problem that you keep your laptop there. Soo annoying!


nikki

- this close to going insane today

I just do not have time to be a stay at home mom, I mean, I do not have time to do stay at home mom chores! haha. (like im soo busy) but I seriously am. I just looked ahead on my last 3 weeks of classes...and I have a lot of readings to do. The readings wouldn't be so bad, but I am the type that takes notes on EVERYTHING...well I looked ahead and the week of my finals...each class has me reading 2 chapters. I just don't have time to take all these notes! SO....I am trying to get all my classwork for the week done today...that way I can get a head start on my upcoming readings. Geesh, is there anyway that I can mute my toddler and get this stuff done? Then as I am sitting here trying to do this Xavier gets this bright idea that he just needs to stop playing and sit on my lap. Its never ending of not getting stuff done. If I can just pause life around me and I can sit here for 2 hours and get stuff done life would be wonderful. Or if I can hire a maid and a nanny to work around me while I do school work....lol....but then what would be the point of me staying home!

I know I could clean this whole living room in about 1/2 hour...but yet I am still sitting here, maybe I should just do it and get it over with and just hope to goodness it still looks clean when Andrew gets home...or maybe I should just wait and do it later this afternoon when there is a better chance of it looking clean, but I like a clean house when I am studying. Shit, maybe I should just take a nap and forget everything. lol.

Xavier has this new thing that makes me crazy, he picks up random stuff around the house and when I go to take it away from him he puts it close to him and says "its mine" and then runs. He has to know how mad it makes me, seriously I want to scream as soon as I hear "its mine". Im like "that tampon is not yours" I say things throughout the day that I never thought I would ever say. I never thought I would have to say "tuck your penis back in" or "when your penis sticks up like that you will pee in your face" seriously?!



Nikki

Did I brush my teeth today?

Have you ever had a day that has been so busy that you stop in the middle of the day and say "did I brush my teeth this morning?" Ugh. This being a stay at home mom thing is really hard, and is really starting to take a toll on me. Do not get me wrong, I love it...I love being home with my little one all day and all that fun stuff, but I do need some adult interaction. I just said "get out of my purse" a total of 5 times in a row and then screamed it until I got the boys attention. Seriously, I do not know how I am still sane. My husband doesn't get why sometimes I just need to leave when he gets home and go for a drive. I actually go walk around Walgreens. I am surprised they haven't asked me why I spend so much time there. I just need that quiet time. I seriously sometimes just scream at the top of my lungs sometimes, then Xavier looks at me like I am crazy. Now he just laughs when I do it. Am I the only stay at home mom that feels this way?!

CLEANING! I am fed up. I don no even want to do it anymore. What is the point, I can clean my whole house in the morning then by the time Andrew gets home it looks like I have done nothing. Seriously, if anyone walked in my house right now they would think that I have not cleaned at all....but I did....and that is what ticks me off. Seriously, this place is crazy messy and I can not take it much more. I am sick of cleaning cleaning cleaning. What the fuck is the point when it just gets messy again.

Wonder why I am crazy? My son just pushed the screen out of the window and I am just sitting here watching him. I know he cant crawl out so why the hell should I get up and fix it? He is terrified of bugs, I hope a huge ass spider comes crawling in, then I wont have to waste my breath on telling him not to touch.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


okay.
nikki

"Sinful Colors Professional" Nail Polish

I always have to find time to write about products that I find work really nice. I have been meaning to blog about "Sinful Colors Professional" Nail Polish for a few weeks, and I made time to do it today. Let me start by telling everyone that you can get this product at Walgreens for $3.99 but they usually have it on sale for cheaper. Honestly, I would pay a lot more for this nail polish because it is the best nail polish I have ever used.

Let me first start by telling you about the colors. This line has every color you can imagine. From black to blue to yellow to green. They even have a very pretty Aqua color that I am dying to try. They even have all this awesome colors with glitter. I am not too much of a glitter person but I did try the dark purple with glitter and it was just as nice as the rest.

Chipping? I always have this problem, especially because I am an online student and I am always typing on the computer. I only wear dark nail polish if I wear any at all...and I could never find a brand of dark nail polish that didn't chip after the first day of wearing it. Well, this brand is THE BEST yet again. I put on 3 coats of black nail polish on last Sunday I did not have to touch up a chip until THURSDAY. For me, that is wonderful. And when I touched it up I just put a little bit of polish where the chip was. There was no need to redo all my nails because there was only one chip! I do not know what they do to this nail polish, but it seriously is the best.

I would suggest this nail polish to anyone on the go...and that loves awesome colors. They have normal everyday colors too, if you are not into the brights and darks. If anyone else ever used this leave me comments and tell me if you have had the same experience with it. I seriously have a collection going, and I refuse to use any other nail polish...!

Remember...Walgreens, Sinful Colors Professional $3.99 *at the most*


Nikki

I hate ignorant people...especially females.

I can not say it enough, please do not come at me and try to make yourself look good if you are uneducated about a topic that I am talking about. It really ticks me off. It all started yesterday on my facebook page. I posted some lame status message wondering who signed me up for Obama emails. Well it started that my cousin by marriage writes "do not blame the black man" or some stupid crap like that. I wrote back that I was not blaming the "black" man I was blaming the democratic man. Whatever. He isn't even "black" he is half black but whatever, it doesn't matter. I then go on to talk about how I do not agree with his health care. This girl couldn't even give me a good political debate. She begins to attack me personally...it was so obvious it was about a certain situation and when I called her out on it she denied it. The girl did not even have enough balls to stand up and say "it was about you". There was a whole situation with another cousin, and I know she has wanted to stick her nose into the situation for awhile and say something to me, so she took advantage of this post to do it. I can not stand uneducated people. Seriously, do not use politics to call me out on something personal, it makes you look like a complete idiot. I love politics, and I love a good debate, I would never hold anything against anyone for their views, everyone has different views. I guess I am just mature like that. Seriously though, if you want to call me out on something, feel free to do it, but do not think I am going to let you do it and not say something back to you. Also, do not attempt to call me out on something that was not your business in the first place. Get over yourself, you are ugly, ghetto, and jealous.

Please get over yourself.

Nikki

Truely Happy.

In my health/science class we are talking about the effects of being obese and how it can cause you to die early yada yada yada. Someone in my class posted how her sister is obese and they are always getting on her to lose weight and watch what she eats. This women also goes on to say how she knows this women is not happy and is faking her happiness. I of course had to respond. I have been overweight all my life...big deal, I have always been healthy, all my tests have come out good, blood pressure fine and I was always happy with myself. I never had a problem getting boyfriends, I was always happy with myself. I loved being "thick". When I saw someone writing an assumption that an overweight/obese person could not be happy with themselves it just made me so angry. This lady also brought up the fact that over weight women could not find cute clothes. I always find cute clothes...they might be a few sizes bigger but who cares? I wrote back stating that I find cute clothes and that assuming that someones size measures their happiness is just ignorant. Do not get me wrong, everyone gets into a funk every now and then about their size...you can be a size 0 or size 26 and still get like that, but your size should not effect your overall happiness. I also truely believe that you can be overweight or obese and still be healthy. I was all those years, my blood pressure was always normal and such. It was not until recently that my blood pressure started going up, I got blood clots after my c-section and little things like that, that my weight started to concern me...which is why I am meeting with a surgeon tomorrow about gastric bypass. I am only doing that for health reasons, not appearance. I truely could be the size that I am for the rest of my life and be happy...but I do want to be around for my son as long as possible and also be around for my husband.

I think overall I just can not stand ignorant people. Once I do get my surgery and lose some weight, I am not going to be one of those judge mental people that assume "fat people" are depressed. It is just simply not true, and wrong. I will always stand up for the overweight because I have been there. I am there right now. Judging someone by their weight is the same as judging someone by their race, their height, anything like that....and it is just simply uncalled for, and makes you look like an ignorant piece of shit. (oops did i say that)


Nikki