It is soo time for a change. I am getting into a complete rut with myself. Its been almost 2 years of having Xavier and I feel like I have completely let myself go. I weigh more then I have ever in my life, and my hair is always in a pony tail. I just cant take it anymore. I am always in sweats and jeans, and I just want to start looking nice again. Not only for myself, but for my hubby. I feel like he just puts up with things and I cant stand just feeling "blah" all the time. I made an appointment with a hairdresser that is also a friend of mine, so I am sure she is going to do a good job, her hair always looks super cute. Im going for a complete change. I will post before and after pix later tonight. I cant wait to just start being me again, along with being "mommy". I feel like I have to start being me and not just mommy. I feel like I have lost touch with myself the past 2 years, which isnt a bad thing, but its time to bring the wife back into the marriage. I dont know if any of this makes sense, but I hope it does. I really want to work on myself....the next thing is start exercising regularly and drop some of this weight. I am not putting a goal on the weight, I am not even thinking numbers, I just want to drop weight...I want to feel good about myself...more then I already do :) because I always love myself.

Okay, I just wanted to update. I hope my hair turns out cute! :)

nikki

Funk

I swear when will never learn, you can tell them something and a minute later its gone. I sometimes feel like I would be better off talking to a wall. Well if I did that, then he would remember I did that...so maybe that would be a good way to get him to listen? Just sit here and talk to the wall...yes, I think that is what I need to do. UGH.

I havent been updating as much, things around this time with the holidays coming along just make me busy. I really need to start Christmas shopping. I keep saying it, I just dont go out and do it. I should go this week to put things on lay-a-way at Big K...just things for Xavier. I have a few ideas on what Santa is going to bring him, but I dont know everything. This year I think he might actually open his gifts by himself and start understanding things. Finally I "fun" Christmas.

I am sooo not looking forward to the Christmas crowds at the stores. We ran into WalMart last night and I wanted to shoot myself. I went down one aisle and of course some nasty looking lady is at the other end. I knew I should of just turned around but no, I didnt....I just wanted to get myself and go since Andrew and X were in the car waiting for me....what happened...the smell hit me, that nasty old wash cloth body funk smell and I puked a little in my mouth. The sad part was she was with her daughter or someone younger....you know they had to smell it, just tell them to take a freaking shower. I dont know how anyone could of sat in a car with her, because seriously, it was BAD. I cant take it....I would rather have bad ass kids running under my feet in a store then to smell someones funk.

Speaking of kids......why do people let their kids out to run around the shopping cart, or better yet PUSH the shopping cart in a busy WalMart. Just because your kids can walk doesnt mean they shouldnt sit in a cart. Especially when they are walking all around the cart and you are not paying attention to them. It drives me crazy when I have to keep saying "excuse me" and your kids wont listen. That also tells me they have no respect for adults and ticks me off even more. UGH! I can go on and on about this subject, and I know its just going to get worse around the holidays and Im going to complain about it more and more. I dread going shopping.


Nikki