2 Year Celebration

It feels so good this morning to wake up....2 years ago today I was diagnosed with a Pulmonary Embolism and DVT....I was in ICU for 4 days, but I got through it...and I am here today. I am so thankful for Allegheny General Hospital for finding my blood clots and getting me through everything. They were wonderful, they even made sure I was in a private room that was cleaned down with bleach so that I could have my 1 month old at the time come up every night to see me. If it wasn't for that hospital I believe that I wouldnt be here today. This is my day of celebration, and the way I do it is with a few martini's tonight, and I cant wait! :)

I have had so much go on the past week...I am just so thankful for everything. My birthday was this past Monday, I turned 27. Nothing big, I dont feel like I am "old" but it was the first birthday that I realized I am getting older. To me age is nothing but a number, it doesnt mark who you are, but it shows maturity. I dont mind my age one bit, but I do realize that I am almost 30...I am married and have the best little boy on the planet. Its just so weird. It seems like yesterday I was in high school and said there was no way I would ever be able to settle down with just one man, and of course I never wanted kids (lol). That has all changed, I have grown so much, and I love it. I love my life and where I am right now. I feel like I have the best. I wouldnt change anything for the world.

I do have something BIG that is going on in my life. I went to the doctor on my birthday and I have decided to see a surgeon and start planning my gastric bypass surgery. YES, I said it...I am getting gastric bypass. I have been working with my PCP for over a year trying to lose weight and the only thing that I have been doing is gaining. I wasnt going to tell anyone about the surgery because I was embarrassed, but the more I think about it and the more I talk about it, I am not embarrassed.I am not doing it for cosmetic reasons, I dont have a planned weight that I even want to be. I just want to be healthy for my son. My blood pressure is starting to go up, and I just need to do this for me. My hubby loves me no matter what, and of course he said he would stand by me no matter what. I have an appointment with a surgeon at the end of April, and I am starting my 6 month diet and what not. There is soo much that goes into everything with this surgery, so I know I will be sharing everything on this blog. I dont want to turn this blog into my gastric bypass blog, it is still going to be my mommy blog, but of course since it is apart of my life now I will be mentioning everything that is going on. Its very exciting for me. I cant wait to meet with the surgeon and get this show on the road! (lol)

WHOA....okay, that is what has been going on with me. I am going to make my way to the liqueur store and get my stuff for my celebration martini's tonight...I am sure to post pix. This is my favorite day of the year!


Nikki

10 items in life that should be FREE.

10. Garbage Bags
09. Paper Towels
08. Diapers
07. Pads
06. Tampons
05. Kleenex
04. Baby Wipes
03. Soap
02. Napkins
.....................................and number one goes to.......

01. TOILET PAPER


These are my top 10 things I hate going to the store and paying for....its just pointless. Starting with garbage bags. Why do I have to pay for bags that are just used to hold the stuff I am throwing away anyway. Why cant I just stick things in garbage holders or something and the trash men just empty that into their truck. Its like paying for something you are going to throw away anyway....it really annoys me to even put those in the shopping cart.

Paper towels, napkins, and kleenex are the same way. You buy them to wipe up messes, you buy the darn things to ruin and throw away. They should just give them away free...why make people waste their money on things that are going to end up in the GARBAGE BAGS! AHH!

Tampons, Pads, Diapers....omg when I have to put those in my cart, knowing the price I am paying for them....and knowing what is going to happen to them just makes me sick. Why dont I just wrap Xaviers booty in dollar bills, because that is what we are doing anyway! Line my panties with a dollar bill....hey it might even work better.....I just cant stand wasting money on all this stuff that is needed. I didnt choose to get a monthly visitor so why am I forced into buying these products every month! Its just not fair in my mind. :)

Soap, I love, but there should be a basic soap that is free of charge....this is just something that makes the others that buy it happy...that way we dont have to put up with others funk.

And my number one item that bothers me is the toilet paper. Its soo hard for me to put that into my cart and buy knowing that it is going to be wiped with my ass then just thrown away. Its soo sad how much money goes out of every ones pockets every month on stuff that we have no control over, I think this stuff should be given out free since its not our choice to have to use it.

If I ever have another baby, I am cloth diapering, that is the end of that. I refuse to buy diapers for another 3 years with another baby if I dont have to....already made up my mind on that one. (lets see if i actually go through with it.....i bet ill just sit here and complain some more)

Nikki

please put down the phone.

I swear life has been so crazy lately. We have had soo much family crap going on, I dont even know where to begin with it all. I think I am going to save that for a later post just because there is soo much to it.

Yesterday we took Xavier to "kidapalooza" at the Pittsburgh convention center. It was really nice, I am just so happy we got there when it opened. They had Brobee from Yo Gabba Gabba dancing on stage, you could get pictures with Wow Wow Wubzy which was nice, and they had soo many different vendors giving out free samples to have to and your kids try the products for free. It was really really nice, and we really did enjoy ourselves...and Xavier got a bag full of junk to eat so he was happy.









The thing that I do have to complain about is the parents yesterday. Andrew and I do not use our cell phones when we are doing something with Xavier...only if it is necessary, and we will go into a corner use the phone and then put it back away. Yesterday, the kids were soo nice that were there, and let me tell you, there were a lot of them. The parents on the other hand were crazy. They were walking around on their cell phones in a complete daze, walking into you, not saying excuse me, and just not spending time with their kids. Dont get me wrong there were some there that were doing what Andrew and I were doing, and I really like that. I love seeing parents spending quality time with their kiddos....but people....put down the cell phones for 2 hours and just enjoy some family time. What the heck is this world coming to. There shouldnt be anything more important then spending quality time with your kids. You should cherish this time, pretty soon they are going to go through the "not wanting anything to do with you" stage and you are going to miss all this time you could of spent with them.......not your cell phone! Parents, please learn how to put down the phone for a few hours and just have fun with your kids.....believe me, it will make you feel better in the end!

Nikki

Surprised when animals act like animals?

When I first heard about the "killer whale" attacking its trainer at a Sea World yesterday I just wanted to go over to that whale and hug it...but its a WHALE....and shouldn't be interacting with humans to begin with. It makes me sick that its all over the news that this poor trainer was killed by this whale. This was a person that was training these wild animals to be entertainment to humans.....they are taken out of their natural environment and trained in these little tanks where they live all their lives. There is nothing entertaining in that equation to me. There shouldn't be the need for "whale trainers" because these animals are not supposed to be living in small tanks and doing shows for us. To me that is just sick. So when these animals attack everyone gets upset over it.....these animals are probably going crazy being held like that and being forced to do shows, of course eventually they are going to snap...it shouldn't surprise anyone that they do this. Its just over time that they are going to do this.

This also goes for elephants in circuses, monkeys that are made pets, all this stuff is just crazy to me....and people shouldn't be surprised when animals act like animals.


Nikki

Sweet iPhone.

I finally got into the whole new smart phone craze and I got an iPhone. Let me tell you, its LOVE. I never thought I would like them, I never wanted one, then the more I looked into them, the more I thought it would be nice to have. Well, now I would die before you took my iPhone away from me. It seriously is like a love obsession. There are so many apps that you can get and omg...I can just go on and on about it all day. Its love....it really is.

I cant believe how "blah" things have been going lately. The only thing that I have been doing is cleaning up after this lil'crazy 2 year old. I cant believe he is 2, and I cant believe how messy he is. Im trying to teach him to clean up after himself, but how the hell do you do that when he just ignores you because he wants to play with another toy. It seriously is driving me insane because I dont know where to start with teaching him how to pick up after himself. Andrew tells me that I am too easy on him, I probably am...but I am his mommy and he is my one and only....so what am I supposed to do. I cant see myself yelling at the boy because he didnt put his toys away, why get mad, he just wants to have a good time? Right? Im probably wrong, but I don't know what to do. Ideas?

I didnt stay in my pj's today, when Xavier and I woke up we both got into the shower, and dressed, and I actually did my hair and makeup...i feel soo much better when I do stuff like that. I actually feel more awake and I want to get the house in order. Its just this livingroom/playroom. I have to figure out a plan of action to get this together. Im working on it. Last week it was spotless in here because we got new furniture delivered, but now its getting back to where it was the week before that! Lovely.

Lunch time. Im sure Ill be back!

Nikki

black and white.

I was reading someones post on facebook, and usually things do not bother me...but this one did. I wasn't going to write about it, but for some reason I cant get it off my mind and I honestly have been thinking about it since it was posted, which is like a week ago. I always can brush things off, but this time I just cant. Im going to let you read the "letter" that was posted and then I will write my opinion/feelings on it and you can form your own opinions on it and let me know if I am over reacting or if I have a right to have it bother me, and I need advice on how to have it stop bothering me.

Here is the post....

White women's opinion of black women & a brother's response

please take a moment and read this. Pretty Deep! Thumbs up to this black man. Enjoy.

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more)!!!

Dear Jamie:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black females' attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.

Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes... I could go on and on; but right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us! Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl,

Somewhere in VA




RESPONSE:

Dear Jamie:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women and, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert De Niro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.

It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, still They Rise!

It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women; I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman, Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children; someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.
No offense taken, none given.

Signed, Black Royalty

Wow!! We must pass this on to make the day of the Black Queens of our acquaintances!



Okay now that you read it....here is my opinion.

First off let me start by saying I think both writers are wrong. To start off, I think its wrong for the "white" writer to say anything about someone elses race, especially when they are dating someone of that race. There is no excuse for it. There is no excuse for the name calling or anything of that nature. If that is why her boyfriend picked her, I think he is ignorent, you should not pick a certain race for any reason other then you are in love with that person. When dating you should not just pick a race and go with it....if you are open to an interracial relationship you know that it is going to be harder, so to just pick a person or certain race to date...you know what you are getting yourself into. If you are dating someone of a different race and they put down their own race, that is a sign right then and there that they shouldnt be in a relationship with anyone, because they have a lot of growing up to do.

Now let me start on the response. The black man's response. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. Well, you started off by slandering...just saying. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. I think that it is out of complete ignorance to say that one race is easier to control then any other race. I have been married to a black man for over 4 years now, and I am not easy to control, and also, what is that saying about a black male, they are out looking for someone that they can control? What is this saying? I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. Let me just start by saying that I look at everyone equally, I do not care what race you are...anything....but I have learned one thing.....When me and my husband are out and about, we get the worst looks from young black females. When Andrew and I started dating I thought I would get the worst looks from older white people....but its not the case. I do not have any jealousy from anyone, but I do find it annoying that when I am out and about with my husband that I get looks from women, they look at my husband then me then back to my husband that I took something from them that was NEVER theirs....because of his race....and its annoying. Please stop this. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has. Tanning has nothing to do with wanting to be a different race. NOTHING. Plastic surgery has NOTHING to do with wanting to be another race also, this is done when someone is not happy with themselves. It does not have anything to do with wanting what a black women has...simple. I have never in my life heard someone say "I am going tanning so I can look black" that statment about tanning made me LOL....literally.BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman, Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children; someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. Okay, so I have been married for 4 years to a man and have a wonderful 2 year old son, but I guess my husband doesnt love me for me...he is using me to control me...! This person is also saying that I am not a good mother to my son, I am not his best friend, and I dont understand his daily struggles....and I am not is soul mate. I cant fit the bill. Well, I think we are doing one hell of a job. Just because the color of my skin is not dark, does not mean that my husband and I are not for each other, and certainly does not mean that I am not a good mother to his child.

If I was going through pages and did not know the person that posted this, I would think that they were very self conscience with themselves...and very intimidated by the white women. Simple.

Its not about race, and that is not what I want this post to turn into. I just want to get it out there, that just because a black man is with a white women, or vice versa means anything. Why does anyone care about anyones race and who they are with to be happy. Why cant people be happy for people that are in love....no matter the race or anything. It is posts like this that makes racism still happen. Why turn it into race. This letter to me sounds like something that a female wrote that had a man that is now dating someone of a different race. My husband has dated black women in the past, I dont care one bit....that is fine with me.

Its stuff like this that makes me upset because the person started off by saying "i will not slander" and the whole post is, and is putting down a race....there is no need to do that to make a certain race look better then another. There is no need for it....it is horrible.

I think anyone that would post this has a problem with themselves...and before they can be in a relationship or friendship or anything for that matter needs to solve their personal issues first.

Love is love....does color really matter?

My thoughts.
nikki


please feel free to leave me your thoughts.

More time please

I always say I am going to update my blog more, and I never do. I swear there is not enough hours in the day for me to do everything. Im trying, I really am. :)

I have been so busy...still being the stay at home mom. I was trying to get another job, but as you can tell that didnt really go over. Andrew applied for a promotion at work, so we are waiting to hear more about that. Our fingers are crossed, but its not biggie either way it goes.

Xavier is going to be 2 in 2 weeks. I really dont even want to think about it. The more I think about it, the more upset I get. I cant believe 2 is right around the corner. It feels like yesterday I was holding him feeding him a bottle, now he is telling me "no" and running around the house like a wild man.

We did our taxes, and of course from when I was babysitting I have to pay taxes on all my pays that taxes werent taken out, we are getting like 2500 less then we "should" be getting, which sucks major monkey balls, but hey, gotta pay "the man". UGH. I hate "the man" . We are starting to look at new living room furniture. We really need it to pull this living room together. I cant wait til next Friday when we get the money, that way we can really look and hopefully order it and get it in here. Im very excited for that.

Okay, more updates to come. I really need to start blogging more. I love doing it, its just the time is never there! :) Leave me comments.


Nikki