I want, to die.

Not really, but close to it. I hate being a girl, I hate having cramps, and I just want to scream. I havent been around lately. I didnt realize how much time the holidays would take over my life. All I did was wrap gifts and bake. I baked so much this year, but I felt accomplished after I did it all, everyone enjoyed my cookies and I enjoyed making them. That is now going to be my tradition, baking a lot of cookies, and every year I am going to make at least one new kind that I never made before.

We had a good holiday, my goal was for Xavier to have a good holiday, so that was accomplished. It was nice.

Guess what, I might not be a stay at home mom anymore! How excited am I! I have been looking into day cares and sending out resumes. It feels soo good to finally be doing something, and maybe going back to work. I think it will do me good and also do Xavier good to be around kids his own age. I am just waiting for a call back for an interview, which i hope happens really soon, I need that. I need out in the real world again around real adults. The good thing is 2 of my friends work where I applied, so its even a plus for me. They say being a stay at home mom is rewarding, which it is, but it also makes you feel like you cant do anything else but wipe boogers off your childs face all day. I know I can do soo much more then that, and actually get paid for it. We need the money too....! I just need out of this house...and outta my pj's and off of this couch!

exciting.