I am so bummed out. I had my first mid-terms in what, 10 years...the first one I took, it is a class that I should of got 100% on, of course I got a C. I was bummed with my C but I could accept it. I took my other test yesterday. I studied my ass off for it, and what did I get....D! How the heck. I took soooo many notes and read my chapters, I knew it and I got a D. Lovely. I think I am more embarrassed then anything because I thought going back to school was going to come easy for me, and that is not the case. I was never a good test taker, I thought after all these years I would get better, but I guess that is just not the case. I am going to have to learn how to study all over again. I think for finals I am going to have to make myself flash cards and stuff like that. I am going to go get stuff tonight and start writing down stuff that I remember on the midterms because I figure if they are on the midterms they will be on the finals too. I just cant believe I did that. I really thought I was going to do good. I am really disappointed. The only good thing, I do feel disappointment and I just don't let it go...I really am learning from my mistakes. I know that I am paying to go to school, its a choice and not like high school where I felt I HAD to be there, I am doing this all on my own, so I am trying to get the best experience, and I want to show everyone that I can do it. I am happy I am hard on myself. Now I just have to be hard on myself for the rest of the class so I keep doing good in my assignments and going to class that way I hopefully can even out my grades.
Everyone thinks that because the midterm is online you can "cheat". I do use my notes, but its not like you can go back and reread the chapters while doing the test, and also the way they word the questions you cant just google the answer, you have to know what they are talking about. It is hard to explain. Another thing, I wouldnt want to cheat in the first place. I am paying to get an education, not to cheat. I want to take the tests on my own and know where my weaknesses are and what I have to learn from. Does that make sense? Sometimes I guess you have to do bad, in order to learn. I am learning.
This past weekend my aunts had an easter egg hunt for all of use older kids...when I say older kids, the youngest was 22...hahahaha. They got prizes and we fought for eggs. I got bit, licked, and wedgied for eggs. They had cheap prizes, money, lotto tickets in the eggs it was fun. Just imagine a bunch of Pollocks running around for easter eggs 3 weeks after easter...and that is my family. HAHA. We all couldnt get together for easter, so we did it late. Ya, Pollock easter egg hunt...shut up! hahaha.
I go this Wednesday to meet with the surgeon that is hopefully going to do my Gastric Bypass surgery in months to come. I am just starting my 6 months, but I am going to meet with him to see if it is even possible for me to get the surgery and to see if it is in my best interest to get it. I hope he says it is but I do realize that I might not be able to get it because I had the Pulmonary Embolism and DVT after my c-section. It is proven though, the better shape you are in the less likely a blood clot is likely to happen again...so I am hoping that is in my favor. I guess I will just have to wait and see Wednesday. I am nervous. I never thought I would want to get a surgery, I was always against "selective" surgeries, but this one is for my health and well being, and also for my family so I am 100% willing to do it. Dont think I am doing it for anyone but me, my family loves me no matter what, this is my decision, but my family is going to have the benefits of it also.
Okay, time for me to go watch some Diego with Xavier. I love this show. Diego and Dora has helped Xavier with his speech so much I cant complain about them.
Nikki
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