Not as easy as I though...

I am so bummed out. I had my first mid-terms in what, 10 years...the first one I took, it is a class that I should of got 100% on, of course I got a C. I was bummed with my C but I could accept it. I took my other test yesterday. I studied my ass off for it, and what did I get....D! How the heck. I took soooo many notes and read my chapters, I knew it and I got a D. Lovely. I think I am more embarrassed then anything because I thought going back to school was going to come easy for me, and that is not the case. I was never a good test taker, I thought after all these years I would get better, but I guess that is just not the case. I am going to have to learn how to study all over again. I think for finals I am going to have to make myself flash cards and stuff like that. I am going to go get stuff tonight and start writing down stuff that I remember on the midterms because I figure if they are on the midterms they will be on the finals too. I just cant believe I did that. I really thought I was going to do good. I am really disappointed. The only good thing, I do feel disappointment and I just don't let it go...I really am learning from my mistakes. I know that I am paying to go to school, its a choice and not like high school where I felt I HAD to be there, I am doing this all on my own, so I am trying to get the best experience, and I want to show everyone that I can do it. I am happy I am hard on myself. Now I just have to be hard on myself for the rest of the class so I keep doing good in my assignments and going to class that way I hopefully can even out my grades.

Everyone thinks that because the midterm is online you can "cheat". I do use my notes, but its not like you can go back and reread the chapters while doing the test, and also the way they word the questions you cant just google the answer, you have to know what they are talking about. It is hard to explain. Another thing, I wouldnt want to cheat in the first place. I am paying to get an education, not to cheat. I want to take the tests on my own and know where my weaknesses are and what I have to learn from. Does that make sense? Sometimes I guess you have to do bad, in order to learn. I am learning.

This past weekend my aunts had an easter egg hunt for all of use older kids...when I say older kids, the youngest was 22...hahahaha. They got prizes and we fought for eggs. I got bit, licked, and wedgied for eggs. They had cheap prizes, money, lotto tickets in the eggs it was fun. Just imagine a bunch of Pollocks running around for easter eggs 3 weeks after easter...and that is my family. HAHA. We all couldnt get together for easter, so we did it late. Ya, Pollock easter egg hunt...shut up! hahaha.

I go this Wednesday to meet with the surgeon that is hopefully going to do my Gastric Bypass surgery in months to come. I am just starting my 6 months, but I am going to meet with him to see if it is even possible for me to get the surgery and to see if it is in my best interest to get it. I hope he says it is but I do realize that I might not be able to get it because I had the Pulmonary Embolism and DVT after my c-section. It is proven though, the better shape you are in the less likely a blood clot is likely to happen again...so I am hoping that is in my favor. I guess I will just have to wait and see Wednesday. I am nervous. I never thought I would want to get a surgery, I was always against "selective" surgeries, but this one is for my health and well being, and also for my family so I am 100% willing to do it. Dont think I am doing it for anyone but me, my family loves me no matter what, this is my decision, but my family is going to have the benefits of it also.

Okay, time for me to go watch some Diego with Xavier. I love this show. Diego and Dora has helped Xavier with his speech so much I cant complain about them.


Nikki

I love school

I have been soo busy to even begin to update on everything going on. Let me start by talking about school...I LOVE IT. I love being back in school, and I love the University of Phoenix. I know I have only been in for 2 weeks, but I feel like I am actually doing something for myself. I love having deadlines and having to go to class, and just doing using my mind! I was beginning to feel useless just staying at home, watching Xavier all day. I didnt use my mind to do anything other then bills, and I just didnt feel that was healthy. I just feel soo good about myself again.

The one thing that annoys me, I have been reading reviews of University of Phoenix and there are people that talk about how its not a good school, they just give out grades, and that people that go shouldn't be proud of telling people their grades. I dont believe this, because if you don't do the work and go to class to do your discussions you are not going to pass. I am learning a lot so far, and there is a lot of time and energy that you have to put into your classes. I hate hearing how some places will overlook you if you went to an online school....well I dont understand this because all the major colleges and universities are now offering online classes? I am very proud of myself going back to school...even if it is online. I am giving up a lot of time to do this, and I hope no one has anything negative to say about me doing this, because I feel soo happy. I never thought I would have the time to get a degree but I have always wanted to get one, just for myself, and to feel like I have accomplished something for myself to get back into the work force. Sooo..if you are one of those people that think online schools are a joke, I think you should try going back....!

On another note, Xavier is doing well. He is talking soo much these days...he is saying more and more everyday, I cant believe it. I honestly thought he might be slow at talking, but now he just amazes me. I can actually hold a conversation with him during the day and I find it soo funny. I just love this boy.

OMG...I love spring, but I cant stand the amount of spiders that we get in this house. We never have any problems with bugs....but when spring hits...its like all these lil'tan guys come out to play. Xavier is scared to death of them, and omg...they scare me also. I hate them. I just kill them and be done with it. Does anyone know anything that we could do to prevent these little guys surviving in this house? It is making me crazy. I hate spiders.

Okay I gotta get going, I hope I can update some more this weekend. I will try!

Nikki

Tiger Balm Review *this stuff is awesome*

Okay, I am going to give my review that I promised for this amazing back stuff called "tiger balm". Here is my background, I woke up 3 weeks ago today and I thought I slept wrong, my back hurt and I couldnt figure out what I did to it. I just let it go and it kept getting worse and worse. I didnt know what to do and finally it got to the point I could barely walk and honestly even bend over. I couldnt pick up toys my house was a wreck...and then my legs went numb...like pins and needles. I went to the er and they told me I was going to have to go to my PCP and they would do an MRI on my back. That happened this past Thursday. My friend told me to try "tiger balm" she swears by it....so I got some Saturday night.

Well....here goes my review of "tiger balm"

My hubby rubbed the "extra strength tiger balm" on my back. Xavier said "stinky" and it honestly does have a strange LOUD smell to it, but nothing unbearable. It heated up, but not to the point it was uncomfy, it was just normal and I actually had the window cracked and the cold breeze felt good on it too. We went to bed, and my son woke up in the middle of the night with the flu (lovely i know) I WAS ACTUALLY ABLE TO SIT UP AND GET OUT OF BED! I even went to WalMart without hurting at 230am! I got back from walmart and Andrew put more on my back, and today....I am not kidding you........my back ache is 95% gone. I dont know what is in this stuff.....but its a miracle. I have some more on right now, and Im going to use it at night for a few more days. Oh ya, it is orange in color and it does say it will stain...so just be aware of that. I would recommend this product to anyone....seriously....it works soo good! I am not one to write blogs about products and such, but I honestly had to let everyone know about this stuff, because seriously just yesterday I couldnt bed over and today I can.....so it really worked well on me!

Okay....tiger balm...I just freaking endorsed your product for free...so if ya'll see this you better keep up with the miracle rub because it is the bestest!!!!!!!!!!!!!



nikki

Back feelin better.....HELLS YEA!

I am thankful for my prescription of Motrin....it doesn't clear up all my back pain, but it does take the edge off enough for me to sit comfortable and at least get some stuff done. Thank goodness. I am still going to make an appointment with my doctor on Monday, but at least I am somewhat comfy until I get in. I might even hold off a little longer and at least try to ease it on my own like I have been doing. I am just not one to go to the doctor if I don't have. At least the ER gave me Motrin. They tried giving me stronger pain meds, but I told them no, there is just no reason for them because they are not going to take the pain away, they are just going to make me feel high and out of it....not something I feel like dealing with. I bought "Tiger Balm" for Andrew to rub on my lower back tonight, my friend from high school reccomended it for me to get...so I bought the extra strength. I told Andrew to remind me not to get in the shower once it is on, because its like "icey hot" and I dont feel like having an Icey Hott ass. lmao. I will let everyone know how the "Tiger Balm" works. All I know is it smells like something you would eat...I cant describe it, like herbs or something. Interesting. Maybe I will give everyone a review of it tomorrow since I have the worst back pain ever...I would be a good person to tell if it works or not.

Anyhoo...we spent the day with Andrews dad. It was fun. He bought us a new printer since I am starting school Monday. I thought that was really nice. I hooked it up, its wireless and I cant believe that I got in set up with my lappy on the first try. I impressed myself, because usually Im cussing at things and I get annoyed and then they just sit there collecting dust because I refuse to touch them. Yes, I really do things like that. I printed out some Dora the Explorer coloring pages for Xavier, so he was excited about that. The only thing I hate about this printer is the price on ink, but I will get over that. I dont think that I am going to have to buy ink that much because I don't plan on printing pictures, just stuff for school to read instead of looking at the computer screen to read 30 plus pages...can you say headache! I can always print on "draft mode" to save ink too...I know all the tricks of that crap! Haha.

I guess I am going to go play around on facebook a little more tonight before we go upstairs for the night. I am tired, and Im really excited to try the tiger balm on my back. I dont want to put it on down here because it says it can stain, and thats the last thing I need to do to the new furniture. :)

Nikki

"You're Pregnant"

Last year this time I was set on having another baby RIGHT NOW. I had baby fever because I realized my baby was growing up...about 3 months into trying that fever broke and I came to my senses that 1 baby was enough for us. I talked to hubby about it, and we both agreed to this...and in that year of not trying we have figured out 1 baby is just enough for us, and I think Xavier is going to be the only child....simple.

Well, I haven't blogged in over a week because I woke up about 2 weeks ago thinking I slept wrong. Well this back thing has gotten so bad I can barely walk. I havent cleaned my living room in over 2 weeks (thankfully I have an understanding hubby that helps out a lot) I just cant move. I woke up today and my legs have had pins and needles all day so Andrew took me to the ER. They told me it wasnt an "emergency" and there was really nothing they could do but give me some pain meds and follow up with my PCP tomorrow. They asked me if I was pregnant and I told them 100% not, and I told them that I am on antidepressants that when being on them you cant be prego....so that is why my doctor gave them to me because we are not planning on kids. They told me they would give me some pain meds left the room. About 3 minutes later....the doctor came in and said "your pregnant" I started crying my eyes out...I dont want to be pregnant, and honestly its almost impossible that I was. I told them it had to be a mix up. They took another pee sample from me and tested it...that one came back NEG. (thank goodness) but the doctor said that was still not enough for him to give me anything they had to know for sure. SOOOO they took blood and told me it would take about 2 hours and they would call me with the results so I knew if I should get my scrips filled. Let me tell you, I called my mom balling my eyes out...scared out of my mind. Not only was I scared about being prego just because we dont want anymore children, I was more scared about my meds that I have been taking while prego (if i was). Well 2 hours went by slow as possible, everyone I knew kept texting me asking me about it.......then the call came though.............blood test........NEGATIVE. WHOO HOOO! I wanted to jump up and down and do a dance....if only my back was okay to do that. I actually think if my back was okay I would of.

SOOO now I have to make an appt with my PCP in the morning and get an appointment for an MRI so I can figure out what the heck is wrong with my back. They are thinking a slipped disc...lovely but they said they wouldnt know for sure until I get an MRI which they dont do in the ER.

I am just so thankful the urine mix up happened to me and not someone that was trying to have a child...could you imagine if that happened to someone else?! My friend told me that she would of went off about things, and yes I could of, and maybe I should of? I was just too stressed to do it, and my back hurt and I just wanted to get home...I try to choose my fights, and that one was an honest mistake...Ill give them that. I can take the stress.

Andrew and I talked after things settled down and I am actually sorta happy things happened because during that whole "i might be prego" thought, not once did I get happy and want to be pregnant...not once...and he said either did he. So maybe it is good that it happened, because it showed us that we might be a little family forever...i honestly think we will be.

Ugh stress....time to try to get comfy and go to bed!

Peeps Ice....Rita's are you FOR REAL!?!

WHOA WHOA WHOA..........was it really that pretty out today?! Oh my, as much as I love me some snow, I was loving the nice weather today! Andrew, Xavier, and I went to my parents for the day to visit, and we had such a fun time outside all day. Xavier enjoyed himself so much.

The first stop of the day was Rita's Italian Ice. Free Icey day, and it was darn good. Rita's has a new flavor...PEEP FLAVORED ITALIAN ICE.......can I say HEAVEN? Let me see, how do I describe this....it tastes like a nice icey peep (duh) hahaha...but it really does. It was soo good. Omg I thought Peeps couldnt get better then I had this Icey. Now if they could only make the "let the peep sit out a day and get hard then eat it" flavor Ice...haha. C'mon, ya'll know you like to leave your peeps sit out for a few days then eat them....just admit it, I KNOW I am not the only one. : )



Then we got to my moms, I took so many pictures of Xavier and my mom walking around, and it looks like she is taking my child around on a pink leash! haha. They were really walking my parents little Yorkie, Tiara....but in half the pictures Tiara isnt there, but my child on a leash is! haha. Seriously though, it was fun....and I did get some cute pictures of Xavier. I dont think anyone realizes how hard it is to photograph a toddler, its like once they reach 2, the only pictures you get are of the back of their heads, or their heads down, off to the side...but they just wont look up. At least that is how it is with a little crazy boy! Oh my goodness, I dont think a good picture here and there is too much to ask for! The good thing...I got one good picture...so my day did turn out good after all!



Andrew and I were going to sneek back to Rita's for seconds on the ice's but we were full and tired after my parents, so we didnt do that. We plan on going to the park tomorrow with Xavier and seeing if the Icey man is there...it will be a good treat...and if he isnt...I think we need to head to Rita's.

Nikki

Health Insurance Rant

Health Care in our country is so f''ed up I just cant stand it. I know I am going to get bashed to hell and back for my views but Im going to vent anyway. How is it that Andrew and I pay over $400 a month for our health insurance through his job, but then we still have a $300 deductible per person every year, $100 for emergency room, and it only covers 80% of anesthesia............how the hell do we get the short end of the stick when we are paying monthly out of our pocket for health insurance. NOW...if I was on welfare, and getting things for free I wouldn't have to pay any of that...! That means our well earned dollars are not only paying for our health insurance, but its paying someone elses to get better health insurance then me! Its totally not fair at all. Wouldn't it make more sense that Andrew and I get to go to the ER for free, and to get everything paid for, but the ones on welfare have to come up with their ER visits, and have a yearly deductible. In no way am I saying that it should be as much as I am paying, but I think it should be something. Its not fair that us paying insurance have to question when we should go to the ER, but yet people that are getting health insurance for free can go whenever they please and not have to think twice about it. I just dont understand how that works. In my opinion health care is a privilege and not a right. Im not saying people should not be able to go to the doctor because everyone should be able to go and not be turned away, but I think if you cant afford to pay for health insurance you should get billed for your doctor visits and at least have to pay something. Its not fair for the ones that work hard to pay for their insurance monthly.



Nikki