black and white.

I was reading someones post on facebook, and usually things do not bother me...but this one did. I wasn't going to write about it, but for some reason I cant get it off my mind and I honestly have been thinking about it since it was posted, which is like a week ago. I always can brush things off, but this time I just cant. Im going to let you read the "letter" that was posted and then I will write my opinion/feelings on it and you can form your own opinions on it and let me know if I am over reacting or if I have a right to have it bother me, and I need advice on how to have it stop bothering me.

Here is the post....

White women's opinion of black women & a brother's response

please take a moment and read this. Pretty Deep! Thumbs up to this black man. Enjoy.

It seems that an article was written to Sister 2 Sister magazine by a Caucasian woman who requested a response from black men. I'm so glad she got what she asked for (and more)!!!

Dear Jamie:

I'm sorry but I would like to challenge some of your Black male readers. I am a White female who is engaged to a Black male-good-looking, educated and loving. I just don't understand a lot of Black females' attitudes about our relationship. My man decided he wanted me because the pickings amongst Black women were slim to none. As he said they were too fat, too loud, too mean, too argumentative, too needy, too materialistic or carrying too much excess baggage.

Before I became engaged, whenever I went out I was constantly approached by black men, willing to wine and dine me and give me the world. If black women are so up in arms about us being with their men, why don't they look at themselves and make some changes. I am tired of the dirty looks I get and snide remarks when we're out in public. I would like to hear from some black men about why we are so appealing and coveted by them. Bryant Gumbel just left his wife of 26 years for one of us Charles Barkley, Scottie Pippen, the model Tyson Beckford, Montell Williams, Quincy Jones, James Earl Jones, Harry Belafonte, Sydney Poitier, Kofi Anan, Cuba Gooding Jr., Don Cornelius, Berry Gordy, Billy Blanks, Larry Fishburne, Wesley Snipes... I could go on and on; but right now, I'm a little angry and that is why I wrote this so hurriedly. Don't be mad with us White women because so many of your men want us! Get your acts together and learn from us and we may lead you to treat your men better. If I'm wrong, Black men, let me know.

Disgusted White Girl,

Somewhere in VA




RESPONSE:

Dear Jamie:

I would like to respond to the letter written by A Disgusted White Girl. Let me start by saying that I am a 28-year old black man. I graduated from one of the most prestigious universities in Atlanta, Georgia with a Bachelor of Arts Degree in Business Management. I have a good job at a major corporation and have recently purchased a house. So, I consider myself to be among the ranks of successful black men. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. The black girls in my neighborhood were raised in the church. They were very strict about when they lost their virginity and who they lost it to. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. A lot of black men, because of insecurities, fears, and overall weaknesses, have become intimidated by the strength of our black women. We are afraid that our woman will be more successful than us, make more money than us, drive nicer cars and own bigger houses. Because of this fear, many black men look for a more docile woman. Someone we can control. I have talked to numerous black men and they continuously comment on how easy it is to control and walk over their white women. I just want to set the record straight. I want A Disgusted White Girl to know that not all successful black men date white women. Brothers like Ahmad Rashad, Denzel Washington, Michael Jordan, Morris Chestnut, Will Smith, Blair Underwood, Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, Samuel L. Jackson, and Chris Rock all married strong black women and, to flip the script, there are numerous white men, in and out of the spot light, who openly or secretly desire black women over white women. Ted Danson, Robert De Niro, and David Bowie to name a few. I just don't want a disgusted white girl to be misinformed Stop thinking that because you are white that you are some type of goddess. Remember, when black Egyptian Queens like Hatsepshut and Nitorcris were ruling Dynasties and armies of men in Egypt, you were over in the caves of Europe eating raw meat and beating each other over the head with clubs. Read your history! It was the black woman that taught you how to cook and season your food. It was the black woman that taught you how to raise your children. It was black women who were breast feeding and raising your babies during slavery.

It is the black woman that had to endure watching their fathers, husbands, and children beaten, killed, and thrown in jail. Black women were born with two strikes against them: being black and being a woman. And, through all this, still They Rise!

It is because of the black women's strength, elegance, power, love and beauty that I could never date anyone except my black Queen. It is not just the outer beauty that captivates and draws me to them. It is not the fact that they come in all shapes, sizes, colors and shades that I love them. Their inner beauty is what I find most appealing about black women. Their strong spirit, loving and nurturing souls, their integrity, their ability to overcome great obstacles, their willingness to stand for what they believe in, and their determination to succeed and reach their highest potential while enduring great pain and suffering is why I have fallen in love with black women; I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has.

BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman, Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children; someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill.
No offense taken, none given.

Signed, Black Royalty

Wow!! We must pass this on to make the day of the Black Queens of our acquaintances!



Okay now that you read it....here is my opinion.

First off let me start by saying I think both writers are wrong. To start off, I think its wrong for the "white" writer to say anything about someone elses race, especially when they are dating someone of that race. There is no excuse for it. There is no excuse for the name calling or anything of that nature. If that is why her boyfriend picked her, I think he is ignorent, you should not pick a certain race for any reason other then you are in love with that person. When dating you should not just pick a race and go with it....if you are open to an interracial relationship you know that it is going to be harder, so to just pick a person or certain race to date...you know what you are getting yourself into. If you are dating someone of a different race and they put down their own race, that is a sign right then and there that they shouldnt be in a relationship with anyone, because they have a lot of growing up to do.

Now let me start on the response. The black man's response. I will not use my precious time to slander white people. I just want to set the record straight of why black men date white women. Back in the day, one of the biggest reasons why black men dated white women was because they were considered easy. Well, you started off by slandering...just saying. Because of our impatience to wait, brothers would look for someone who would give it up easy without too much hassle. So, they turned to the white girls. Nowadays, in my opinion, a lot of brothers date white women because they are docile and easy to control. I think that it is out of complete ignorance to say that one race is easier to control then any other race. I have been married to a black man for over 4 years now, and I am not easy to control, and also, what is that saying about a black male, they are out looking for someone that they can control? What is this saying? I honestly believe that your anger is geared more toward jealousy and envy more so than snotty looks. Let me just start by saying that I look at everyone equally, I do not care what race you are...anything....but I have learned one thing.....When me and my husband are out and about, we get the worst looks from young black females. When Andrew and I started dating I thought I would get the worst looks from older white people....but its not the case. I do not have any jealousy from anyone, but I do find it annoying that when I am out and about with my husband that I get looks from women, they look at my husband then me then back to my husband that I took something from them that was NEVER theirs....because of his race....and its annoying. Please stop this. If this were not so, then why do you continuously go to tanning salons to darken your skin? If you are so proud to be white, then why don't you just be happy with your pale skin? Why do you continue to inject your lips, hips, and breasts with unnatural and dangerous substances so you can look fuller and more voluptuous? I think that your anger is really a result of you wanting to have what the black woman has. Tanning has nothing to do with wanting to be a different race. NOTHING. Plastic surgery has NOTHING to do with wanting to be another race also, this is done when someone is not happy with themselves. It does not have anything to do with wanting what a black women has...simple. I have never in my life heard someone say "I am going tanning so I can look black" that statment about tanning made me LOL....literally.BOTTOM LINE: If I were looking for a docile woman, someone I can walk over and control, I would give you a call. But, unfortunately, I am looking for a Virtuous Woman, Someone that can be a good wife and mother to my children; someone who can be my best friend and understands my struggles. I am looking for a soul mate. I am looking for a sister and; unfortunately, you do not and CANNOT fit the bill. Okay, so I have been married for 4 years to a man and have a wonderful 2 year old son, but I guess my husband doesnt love me for me...he is using me to control me...! This person is also saying that I am not a good mother to my son, I am not his best friend, and I dont understand his daily struggles....and I am not is soul mate. I cant fit the bill. Well, I think we are doing one hell of a job. Just because the color of my skin is not dark, does not mean that my husband and I are not for each other, and certainly does not mean that I am not a good mother to his child.

If I was going through pages and did not know the person that posted this, I would think that they were very self conscience with themselves...and very intimidated by the white women. Simple.

Its not about race, and that is not what I want this post to turn into. I just want to get it out there, that just because a black man is with a white women, or vice versa means anything. Why does anyone care about anyones race and who they are with to be happy. Why cant people be happy for people that are in love....no matter the race or anything. It is posts like this that makes racism still happen. Why turn it into race. This letter to me sounds like something that a female wrote that had a man that is now dating someone of a different race. My husband has dated black women in the past, I dont care one bit....that is fine with me.

Its stuff like this that makes me upset because the person started off by saying "i will not slander" and the whole post is, and is putting down a race....there is no need to do that to make a certain race look better then another. There is no need for it....it is horrible.

I think anyone that would post this has a problem with themselves...and before they can be in a relationship or friendship or anything for that matter needs to solve their personal issues first.

Love is love....does color really matter?

My thoughts.
nikki


please feel free to leave me your thoughts.