"You're Pregnant"

Last year this time I was set on having another baby RIGHT NOW. I had baby fever because I realized my baby was growing up...about 3 months into trying that fever broke and I came to my senses that 1 baby was enough for us. I talked to hubby about it, and we both agreed to this...and in that year of not trying we have figured out 1 baby is just enough for us, and I think Xavier is going to be the only child....simple.

Well, I haven't blogged in over a week because I woke up about 2 weeks ago thinking I slept wrong. Well this back thing has gotten so bad I can barely walk. I havent cleaned my living room in over 2 weeks (thankfully I have an understanding hubby that helps out a lot) I just cant move. I woke up today and my legs have had pins and needles all day so Andrew took me to the ER. They told me it wasnt an "emergency" and there was really nothing they could do but give me some pain meds and follow up with my PCP tomorrow. They asked me if I was pregnant and I told them 100% not, and I told them that I am on antidepressants that when being on them you cant be prego....so that is why my doctor gave them to me because we are not planning on kids. They told me they would give me some pain meds left the room. About 3 minutes later....the doctor came in and said "your pregnant" I started crying my eyes out...I dont want to be pregnant, and honestly its almost impossible that I was. I told them it had to be a mix up. They took another pee sample from me and tested it...that one came back NEG. (thank goodness) but the doctor said that was still not enough for him to give me anything they had to know for sure. SOOOO they took blood and told me it would take about 2 hours and they would call me with the results so I knew if I should get my scrips filled. Let me tell you, I called my mom balling my eyes out...scared out of my mind. Not only was I scared about being prego just because we dont want anymore children, I was more scared about my meds that I have been taking while prego (if i was). Well 2 hours went by slow as possible, everyone I knew kept texting me asking me about it.......then the call came though.............blood test........NEGATIVE. WHOO HOOO! I wanted to jump up and down and do a dance....if only my back was okay to do that. I actually think if my back was okay I would of.

SOOO now I have to make an appt with my PCP in the morning and get an appointment for an MRI so I can figure out what the heck is wrong with my back. They are thinking a slipped disc...lovely but they said they wouldnt know for sure until I get an MRI which they dont do in the ER.

I am just so thankful the urine mix up happened to me and not someone that was trying to have a child...could you imagine if that happened to someone else?! My friend told me that she would of went off about things, and yes I could of, and maybe I should of? I was just too stressed to do it, and my back hurt and I just wanted to get home...I try to choose my fights, and that one was an honest mistake...Ill give them that. I can take the stress.

Andrew and I talked after things settled down and I am actually sorta happy things happened because during that whole "i might be prego" thought, not once did I get happy and want to be pregnant...not once...and he said either did he. So maybe it is good that it happened, because it showed us that we might be a little family forever...i honestly think we will be.

Ugh stress....time to try to get comfy and go to bed!

Health Insurance Rant

Health Care in our country is so f''ed up I just cant stand it. I know I am going to get bashed to hell and back for my views but Im going to vent anyway. How is it that Andrew and I pay over $400 a month for our health insurance through his job, but then we still have a $300 deductible per person every year, $100 for emergency room, and it only covers 80% of anesthesia............how the hell do we get the short end of the stick when we are paying monthly out of our pocket for health insurance. NOW...if I was on welfare, and getting things for free I wouldn't have to pay any of that...! That means our well earned dollars are not only paying for our health insurance, but its paying someone elses to get better health insurance then me! Its totally not fair at all. Wouldn't it make more sense that Andrew and I get to go to the ER for free, and to get everything paid for, but the ones on welfare have to come up with their ER visits, and have a yearly deductible. In no way am I saying that it should be as much as I am paying, but I think it should be something. Its not fair that us paying insurance have to question when we should go to the ER, but yet people that are getting health insurance for free can go whenever they please and not have to think twice about it. I just dont understand how that works. In my opinion health care is a privilege and not a right. Im not saying people should not be able to go to the doctor because everyone should be able to go and not be turned away, but I think if you cant afford to pay for health insurance you should get billed for your doctor visits and at least have to pay something. Its not fair for the ones that work hard to pay for their insurance monthly.



Nikki