.life.

I am so happy for cooler weather. I am completely ready for fall to get here. It is 100% my favorite time of the year. I havent updated in a few days, I just havent had the energy to do anything. Xavier and I spent the night at my mom and dads again Thursday night....and that is pretty much what has been going on. Im still waiting for Pennsylvania to sign the budget so I can get paid. I am so depressed that we have to be on such a tight budget. I have bills coming it and the more they come in the more depressed I get because I know we have 100% no money to spend after bills. I cant take it anymore. Its soo not fair, I cant believe how much we really rely on the babysitting money that was coming in. It just makes me sick. I guess PA is supposed to start talking more about it this week. If they dont do something this coming week there are going to be hundreds of day cares closing. I dont understand, if they passed a little bit of the budget to get state workers paid, why cant they pass another part of it to keep day cares going strong? It just doesnt make sense to me. If they close day cares people are going to have the quit their jobs because they have no where to send their kids. Why doesnt my state care about that? I would think that would be up there in priority with getting state works paid, but i guess it doesnt. I guess low income families are not on the minds of PA....it just saddens me.

We really have no big plans this weekend. I think we are going to go to Andrews moms house across the street tonight for awhile to visit. Its soo weird, we live soo close to them yet we hardly see them. I feel bad, its just that our lives are soo busy. I would think it would be the other way around, we would see them more then my parents, its odd....I think its because they have 2 younger girls and they always have something going on.

Im still trying to ignore the pain in my right leg. I really dont understand why it keeps hurting the way it does. Im annoyed by it, I really am. It is doing nothing but getting worse, but what do i do? There is no color change, no swelling, just hurting. I guess I have to live with it. It just makes me wonder. I am so scared there is something else going on in there, but the hospital said my legs were clear of clots. I am trying to walk more....but the more depressed I get over money and things like that, the more I dont want to do anything....so it just makes it harder. I really hate being an adult at times....I really do.

Hopefully we will have some good news soon. Until then TTC#2 is on hold...Ill keep everyone updated on that. Life.