More time please

I always say I am going to update my blog more, and I never do. I swear there is not enough hours in the day for me to do everything. Im trying, I really am. :)

I have been so busy...still being the stay at home mom. I was trying to get another job, but as you can tell that didnt really go over. Andrew applied for a promotion at work, so we are waiting to hear more about that. Our fingers are crossed, but its not biggie either way it goes.

Xavier is going to be 2 in 2 weeks. I really dont even want to think about it. The more I think about it, the more upset I get. I cant believe 2 is right around the corner. It feels like yesterday I was holding him feeding him a bottle, now he is telling me "no" and running around the house like a wild man.

We did our taxes, and of course from when I was babysitting I have to pay taxes on all my pays that taxes werent taken out, we are getting like 2500 less then we "should" be getting, which sucks major monkey balls, but hey, gotta pay "the man". UGH. I hate "the man" . We are starting to look at new living room furniture. We really need it to pull this living room together. I cant wait til next Friday when we get the money, that way we can really look and hopefully order it and get it in here. Im very excited for that.

Okay, more updates to come. I really need to start blogging more. I love doing it, its just the time is never there! :) Leave me comments.


Nikki

Attack of the plastic toys.

My goal for this Friday was to get the house spotless for when my hubby got home, that way we had nothing to do this weekend, and we can chill out in a nice clean house....then I woke up with the headache from hell. It is right behind my right eye and it just wont go away, and Xavier playing on the drums all day is not helping. I really think I need to start a blog about my weird dreams I have on this anxiety med I take. I seriously have the most vivid dreams, sometimes I have to ask Andrew if it really happened, have you ever got reality mixed up with dreamland? I cant explain it, they are just too real. I think that is one of the reasons why I have been getting headaches, but seriously I get into such a deep sleep...its soo odd...I wish I could explain it better. I just hope this headache goes away and I can get these toys picked up.

My living room always looks like Toys R Us vomited all over the place. Its like the attack of the plastic toys. They are just everywhere. Everyone tells me "make sure he picks up the toys when he is done playing". Oh please, how do you do that when the boy wants to play with everything at once...if someone has advice for me on that, please leave it, I could use all the help in that department. I wish I could figure out how to organize these toys better in the living room....heck anywhere in the house for the matter, I am just not good at it. Period.

Well off to watch the Back Yardagains for the 15th bazillionth time today. Hey, if it keeps him happy and off the drums...and me on the couch, I have no problem with it. This headache is outrageous.

nikki

Karma.

I have learned a lesson this week, never think that karma will not come back to bite you in the bootay, even if it is years down the line.

When I was 19 I quit a job, I called the manager at night and left a voice mail that I wouldnt be back. I was 19, immature and just couldnt handle what I was doing at the time. It wasnt a hard job, but I was going through some stuff at the time in my life where I just needed an "out". I never thought about it...I never thought it would come back to me, like I said, I was young.

Well, now I wish I could go back in time and put in a notice and leave the way you are supposed to. My good friend is now working at the company that I screwed over by not giving a notice. They are in need of people and it would be in a different department then I worked in when I quit. I have all the requirements for the position they are hiring for, and it pays decent money. I figured I would give it a shot and put my resume in just to see what happened. After I sent my resume in, I found a day care that we liked...everything lined up because I knew if I got an interview I would pretty much have the job...I know that sounds very optimistic but I know the job...and I love doing it. Well, I got a call Tuesday and everything went well, and she said someone else would be calling me to follow up. After I hung up they called back and told me they couldnt find me in the system and asked if I had a different last name....so I gave them my maiden name....well I guess they found me because they havent called me back since. I know its because of how I left, I dont blame them....would I hire someone back that just upped and quit on me...hecks no. So thats life. I guess I live and learn. I am going to call them in the morning to check on the status of things just to see if I can get a straight "yes" or "no", but my hopes are not up anymore...I was bummed about it today but the more I think about it, the more I tell myself I cant be upset, its karma....I shouldnt of done what I did years back.

Live and Learn.

Dont like the snow.....move.

This is my rant of the day. I am soo sick of people from Pittsburgh complain about the snow. YOU LIVE IN PITTSBURGH THERE IS GOING TO BE SNOW....if you dont like it move or shut up. Its the winter, it comes every year....there is nothing you can do about it. Then when it snows, and the roads are not clear by morning everyone complains. How many roads are in Pittsburgh, it is impossible for them to all be clear and fine in the few hours the workers have to clear. It just drives me insane. All over my facebook page is people complaining and moaning about it.....then move...plain and simple. It comes every year in this area...it will forever....so you have a choice, put up with it, or leave. I love this city, I love the snow, and i personally think the workers do the best they can and what they have to work with. Geesh. Okay Im good...now I can sleep! :)

Nikki

I want, to die.

Not really, but close to it. I hate being a girl, I hate having cramps, and I just want to scream. I havent been around lately. I didnt realize how much time the holidays would take over my life. All I did was wrap gifts and bake. I baked so much this year, but I felt accomplished after I did it all, everyone enjoyed my cookies and I enjoyed making them. That is now going to be my tradition, baking a lot of cookies, and every year I am going to make at least one new kind that I never made before.

We had a good holiday, my goal was for Xavier to have a good holiday, so that was accomplished. It was nice.

Guess what, I might not be a stay at home mom anymore! How excited am I! I have been looking into day cares and sending out resumes. It feels soo good to finally be doing something, and maybe going back to work. I think it will do me good and also do Xavier good to be around kids his own age. I am just waiting for a call back for an interview, which i hope happens really soon, I need that. I need out in the real world again around real adults. The good thing is 2 of my friends work where I applied, so its even a plus for me. They say being a stay at home mom is rewarding, which it is, but it also makes you feel like you cant do anything else but wipe boogers off your childs face all day. I know I can do soo much more then that, and actually get paid for it. We need the money too....! I just need out of this house...and outta my pj's and off of this couch!

exciting.

It is soo time for a change. I am getting into a complete rut with myself. Its been almost 2 years of having Xavier and I feel like I have completely let myself go. I weigh more then I have ever in my life, and my hair is always in a pony tail. I just cant take it anymore. I am always in sweats and jeans, and I just want to start looking nice again. Not only for myself, but for my hubby. I feel like he just puts up with things and I cant stand just feeling "blah" all the time. I made an appointment with a hairdresser that is also a friend of mine, so I am sure she is going to do a good job, her hair always looks super cute. Im going for a complete change. I will post before and after pix later tonight. I cant wait to just start being me again, along with being "mommy". I feel like I have to start being me and not just mommy. I feel like I have lost touch with myself the past 2 years, which isnt a bad thing, but its time to bring the wife back into the marriage. I dont know if any of this makes sense, but I hope it does. I really want to work on myself....the next thing is start exercising regularly and drop some of this weight. I am not putting a goal on the weight, I am not even thinking numbers, I just want to drop weight...I want to feel good about myself...more then I already do :) because I always love myself.

Okay, I just wanted to update. I hope my hair turns out cute! :)

nikki

Funk

I swear when will never learn, you can tell them something and a minute later its gone. I sometimes feel like I would be better off talking to a wall. Well if I did that, then he would remember I did that...so maybe that would be a good way to get him to listen? Just sit here and talk to the wall...yes, I think that is what I need to do. UGH.

I havent been updating as much, things around this time with the holidays coming along just make me busy. I really need to start Christmas shopping. I keep saying it, I just dont go out and do it. I should go this week to put things on lay-a-way at Big K...just things for Xavier. I have a few ideas on what Santa is going to bring him, but I dont know everything. This year I think he might actually open his gifts by himself and start understanding things. Finally I "fun" Christmas.

I am sooo not looking forward to the Christmas crowds at the stores. We ran into WalMart last night and I wanted to shoot myself. I went down one aisle and of course some nasty looking lady is at the other end. I knew I should of just turned around but no, I didnt....I just wanted to get myself and go since Andrew and X were in the car waiting for me....what happened...the smell hit me, that nasty old wash cloth body funk smell and I puked a little in my mouth. The sad part was she was with her daughter or someone younger....you know they had to smell it, just tell them to take a freaking shower. I dont know how anyone could of sat in a car with her, because seriously, it was BAD. I cant take it....I would rather have bad ass kids running under my feet in a store then to smell someones funk.

Speaking of kids......why do people let their kids out to run around the shopping cart, or better yet PUSH the shopping cart in a busy WalMart. Just because your kids can walk doesnt mean they shouldnt sit in a cart. Especially when they are walking all around the cart and you are not paying attention to them. It drives me crazy when I have to keep saying "excuse me" and your kids wont listen. That also tells me they have no respect for adults and ticks me off even more. UGH! I can go on and on about this subject, and I know its just going to get worse around the holidays and Im going to complain about it more and more. I dread going shopping.


Nikki